Day  : California to Oregon
We crossed the Arizona-California border at sunset last night and were immediately stopped at by the California produce patrol.
"Where are you coming from?" the produce officer asked.
"Everywhere!" we replied.
"Alright..." she said sort of irritated, "...just go."
We made it as far as Valencia which, we discovered this morning, is directly across the 5 from SIX FLAGS! We didn't have time to visit, but walking barefoot on this Best Western's well-worn carpet was equally exhilarating! Like staring danger right in the face! |  |
 | No gigs today, unless you count today's first stop, Denny's, a gig. This may not be a stretch: there was a very entertaining audio portion of this Denny's, a button-actuated sizzling poster in the foyer. You press the button and a picture of a pan full of onions makes a sizzling noise. Another reminder that we need to incorporate more audio of food cookery in our shows. |
It's a driving day, our last major leg, and this band is tired of being in the road and looking for entertainment wherever it can. Daron is doing a valliant job of driving through sub-California Interstate Five, a stretch of land so bland that after about an hour of absolte silence in the car he asked "So is this REALLY it?"
Meanwhile Jack listened to Jerry Seinfeld ask what's the deal and Drew evidently earned his newnickname, "Sheik iPhone." We're going to get through this state, but it ain't going to be pretty. We got a call in Sacramento about an interview and when we heard the (425) area code in her callback number it felt like home was really close. |  |
 | We were counting on the speed demonry that has kept our driving times below estimate and gas mileage laughably low, but then we spotted the most tragic road sign of our trip, so lame that it warrants its own outlined table below:
ALL VEHICLES
WHEN
TOWING
55
MAXIMUM |
To quote John McCain,
"This, my friends, is WEAK." |
On the bright side, this has significantly improved our gas mileage, and warranted bathroom breaks BETWEEN fuel ups, something that was otherwise unprecidented until now.
It's also leading to lots and lots of free time here in the car to waste 1s and 0s on digital pictures that are at the very least keeping us awake...
 
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We emerged from the I-5 corridor with a new resolve, a sort of "Up With People" kind of roadtrip attitude. Come on, let's get happy!
For instance, Drew pledged to congratulate himself at least once every fifteen minutes for his various successes in life. At 7:38, when it seemed that all hope was lost, he interjected, apropos of nothing in particular, "I make really good chicken salad!" Asked why he believed this to be true, he reported that it was "all in the herbs," but he pronounced the H, which brought him down to earth a little bit.
In other news, we almost ran out of gas this morning but squeaked into the Chevron just in time. This mirrors the other "running on empty" themes in our band, none more pronounced than our lack of socks. We don't know how it happened. We also don't know why Drew saved the Argyle socks for the end- those babies are classy!
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And now, another edition of:
Dear MayMo,
Today's episode concerns yet another road trip challenge, food. Let's all watch Mayor Monkey pull a Rachel Ray and turn the food frowns upside down!
Dear MayMo,
Our band scheduled ourselves waaay too thin and it's really taking a toll on our stomachs. Too much brown, fried food! I ate something from Taco Bell today that I'm not sure was food. What can we do?
Sincerely,
Gut Shot in Galveston |
Dear Gut Shot,
You're not the first band to suffer from this problem and you won't be the last. I think the worst part for Recess Monkey hasn't been the food but the odors that are a consequence thereof.
In any event, I suggest that you take a break from fast food and instead eat a balanced meal. You should be able to find all of the major food groups at your average Quickee Mart, as pictured below:
The Egg Salad says "Complex" but the Doritos say "Fusion!" And the Choco-Taco? "Whimsy!" Top it all off with a 32 ounce Snapple and you have yourself not only a delicious meal, but quite a photogenic one at that! Your waistline will thank you for these healthy, healthy choices!
Happy eating,
Mayor Monkey, Recess Monkey's Band Manager.
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We're no longer the farthest flung car on the road and there are signs for Portland, albeit 400 miles away.
Drew just said, "I'm a very understanding friend!"
We sleep in Roseburg, OR tonight and can't shake the Citizen Kane references, strengthened by the fact that we're listening to an old time Perry Mason show as we cross into Oregon.
And hey- somewhere between the socks and MayMo, there are suddenly TREES!
EVERYWHERE!!!
It's good to be back in the Northwest. PREVIOUS || NEXT |
